Last Christmas when I was shopping for gifts, I saw this adorable little trinket that said “follow your dreams” on it. It’s the kind of cute little thing I’m always buying for one of my girls. I picked it up, examined it, thought for a moment, and put it back down. I wasn’t in the mood to promote my kids following their dreams if they didn’t involve them living within a fairly close proximity to me or the rest of their family.
If you’ve been reading our blog or are family or friends, you know that my daughter/fellow blogger, Christina, and her new husband, Nate, are planning on taking the next year or so to travel the country in their camper van. Christina has also let us know that they’re not exactly sure where they’ll end up settling after their year of traveling is up.
Related: Why Travelling is Good for Your Soul
I know it all sounds so free and exciting, but I definitely had a hard time with the idea when Christina first told me about it.
The one year of traveling won’t be so bad. Of course, they’re spending a lot of money retrofitting the van and they’re giving up their jobs. And they’re not settling into their first home post-wedding like I thought they would be. Yep, they’ve got different plans and dreams than I expected—different plans and dreams than the ones I had when I was their age.
What’s so hard for me to imagine is Christina and Nate living far away. I understand that there are so many ways these days to stay in touch and communicate with one another, but in my heart, I feel that there’s nothing like the closeness that comes with living near one another and spending time doing fun and everyday things together. Our family, especially us girl, have always done a lot of things together – crafting, spending afternoons swimming or at the beach, going to concerts, and, of course, shopping. My favorite thing to do together—my favorite thing ever in the whole world– is just having family dinners together—talking, telling stories, and laughing. It’s hard to imagine an everyday life without Christina and Nate in it.
Related: How to Get Comfortable with Uncertainty
That being said, I do want Christina and Nate to follow their dreams. Every good parent wants their children to live the life of their dreams. Yes, even if it takes them far away. So many times over the years my own Mom told me how much she missed me living nearby (I left Michigan when I was 21) but that she was so happy that I made a life for myself where I was happy.
If Christina and Nate find that they ultimately want to settle in some place far away, we’ll be okay. Yes, there will be tears and heartache, but we’ll build a new reality and new dreams. I suppose I could imagine this new world. And we would make it a good world.
How did you deal with big milestones in your kid’s lives – milestones that took them off into the world without you (like starting kindergarten, learning to drive, or moving away)?
Lisa is a mother of three lovely young women and is a new grandmother to a baby boy! She has been married to her high school sweetheart for more than thirty years. Lisa is originally from Dearborn Heights, Michigan, but has lived in the Tampa Bay area since 1984. Running a small business for over 25 years and raising a family has made for a busy, busy life with many ups and downs; it’s definitely been an adventure.
Lisa’s always involved in one project or another whether it’s work related or serving her community. She also recently went back to school to finish her bachelor’s degree in American Studies. Lisa tries to make every day a good day—that means learning something new, practicing kindness, and enjoying the present moment.
Well at least she’ll be in the states so she won’t ever be that far away! my husband is from a different country and it’s hard to be separated from your family (I’m lucky that we live near mine) but then again we spend more time with his family that comes to visit several times a year because we spend quality time together and do everything together when they’re in town vs. my parents that live 40 minutes from us and we only see maybe once a month for a few hours. so geographical distance isn’t the end all be all in any relationship.
I understand it can be hard to accept/let go but it’s part of parenting! As long as they’re happy that is all that matters. They’ll be ok in the end and figure it out, just like we all do!
I’ve lived away from my family since I was 19. I’m sure my mother would have liked us to live closer. But I don’t think it ever stopped us from being close. It was just a different version of close.
I think the key is to encourage and support and keep the lines of communication always open!
I try to encourage my kids to dream big. It can be hard because it is scary for everyone. But no one should live in fear