My now lovely fiancé and I have been together for almost 7 years. We only recently got engaged.
That being said, the road was not easy and definitely not silent.
You could say that I’ve been thinking about getting married and fantasizing about it for years. And the anticipation may have caused some arguments along the way.
However, when it finally did happen, here are a few things I learned about the experience:
- It might not happen like you think – Every story is different and unique. You might imagine the perfect proposal. You might even tell him or her exactly what you want, but chances are nothing will be just like you imagined. But would you really want it to? I’d always imagined he’d propose at a concert. We routinely go to Dave Matthews Band concerts every year – providing the perfect opportunity for a proposal. And this year was the year. I’d found the ring I wanted, emailed it to him. And then waited as we’d gone on numerous trips together and waved past major holidays without the proposal. But when it finally did happen – not at a concert but on beach surrounded by my family on vacation, I was completely shocked and it was wonderful. It was nothing like I’d ever imagined and I’m thankful that he surprised me and found an even better way to make it special. (I’m also relieved he didn’t do it at a concert, I would have been way too distracted to enjoy the concert).
- You might not know what is going on – When it happened we were on a beach, like I said, surrounded by all my family but for a completely unrelated reason. We were there for my nephew’s christening. So when the christening was over and I asked my sister to take a picture of me and boyfriend and I turn around to him on one knee – I did not get it. I literally said “not that like!” like get up, we’re taking a picture! Then he asked me to marry him, barely choking out the words, I still asked “are you serious?” I was in complete and utter shock.
- You might not react the way you thought you would – I’d always expected I’d cry. I’m a big crier. I cry when I’m sad and happy and excited and basically whenever I feel a strong emotion. But I did not cry when he proposed. I was too shocked. I honestly felt more like I was going to throw up when it happened. And for the following 15 minutes afterwards.
- Whether you’re alone or surrounded by people, it doesn’t matter – The only thing that matters when it happens is the two of you. When I saw boyfriend on one knee and got over the initial “what the heck is going on???” shock, I completely lost track of what was going around us. I don’t know if anyone was watching. I was vaguely aware of my sister who was probably watching (the one who was supposed to take the picture). But we were the only thing that mattered. So no matter where you are or whatever else is going on, the only thing that matters is the two of you. Just hope that someone somewhere is taking a picture or a video because you might not remember exactly what happened. It’s still a little fuzzy to me.
- Don’t push him – This was something I learned the hard way. Like I said I’ve been dreaming about it for years, but it’s important not to push your significant other if they’re not ready. Together for nearly 7 years and he said numerous times he wasn’t going to ask until he was ready. He bought the ring the same week I picked it out. But he waited over 7 months to ask me. Countless decisions made about future plans and I always brought it up because I was impatient. Because of that arguments were had. But it wasn’t going to change until he was ready. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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