I went through a period in my life a little over a year ago where I was really struggling with some transitions and changes. Some I knew were coming but they were still hard to deal with. Others were unexpected and, therefore, even harder to deal with.
These big changes include our youngest daughter graduating from high school. My own graduation from college (finally) with my Bachelor’s Degree in Humanities/American Studies. And finally, dealing with the transition surroundinga key employee of our family business moving back to his home state after 17 years with the company.
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Everyone goes through major events and changes at one time or another and regardless if they’re planned or unplanned, happy and exciting or sorrowful; times of change are often stressful. I’ve found the transition to be easier when I follow a few tips that I’ve picked up over the years. I hope they’re helpful for you too.
3 Tips to Make Transition and Change Easier
- Don’t bury your feelings: A wide range of emotions usually come with change. They can run the gamut from the most positive to the most negative. Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions. When you actually feel your feelings, they pass through and don’t bind up inside you and manifest into more toxic emotions such as bitterness and anger. To do this, you have to be willing to sit with the discomfort of your emotions. Drowning emotions with alcohol, food, endless activity, or worse– only disconnects us from feelings until a later time when they’ll try to resurface again. The past few weeks I’ve been more than a little teary eyed thinking about no more driving kids to school, no more dance recitals, gymnastics meets, or soccer games. I’m sad that I won’t be seeing so many of my classmates anymore or enjoying all the spirited discussions that can only be found in intimate classroom settings. I’m heavy-hearted that I won’t be working day in and day out with a man that I’ve come to love like a brother. I am, however, an eternal optimist and am looking forward to new challenges!
- Attend to business: Although emotions may be running high and need attention, practical matters need attention too. Don’t use current emotions, whether they’re pain, fear, excitement, or joy as an excuse to be lax with the important “business” tasks your particular situation requires. Procrastination is always the enemy! In my case, there are still assignments to finish, paperwork to attend to, a new employee to hire, parties to plan, and ceremonies to attend.
- Take care of yourself: During times of transition, it’s easy to neglect yourself and your personal needs. After all, you’re extending a lot of energy into processing your emotions and are dealing with extra practical tasks. You may not be eating well, you may be neglecting your exercise routine, or maybe you’re not participating in any of your personal fun or family activities. It’s never a good idea to neglect your physical and mental health. Take care of yourself as much as possible.
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We all know change is going to happen and that we can’t stop it. All change requires some adjustment, even good change. Our real problems happen when we resist change instead of flowing with it. So don’t resist change, accept it.
What transitions and changes have you been through lately? What helped you cope?
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Lisa is a mother of three lovely young women and is a new grandmother to a baby boy! She has been married to her high school sweetheart for more than thirty years. Lisa is originally from Dearborn Heights, Michigan, but has lived in the Tampa Bay area since 1984. Running a small business for over 25 years and raising a family has made for a busy, busy life with many ups and downs; it’s definitely been an adventure.
Lisa’s always involved in one project or another whether it’s work related or serving her community. She also recently went back to school to finish her bachelor’s degree in American Studies. Lisa tries to make every day a good day—that means learning something new, practicing kindness, and enjoying the present moment.
I am a big list maker. If I am going through a big change such as a new job or starting a new business adventure and feel my self getting overwhelmed or lost, I will start writing a list. Sometimes I will take a few minutes or whatever I can spare to have some wind down time, read a book, take a shower, or something that will clear my head. Then I will start writing a list of what I would like to do and what I can do to make things a little easier.
I’m a big list-maker too…I like how you take the time though to clear your head first before making important lists. That’s a tip I’m going to use. Thanks!
Great post!
Some changes I went through recently? Letting go of (terrible) clients and taking time to finally launch my blog. I’ve experienced ALL the emotions. Luckily I had a strong support system of family and friends so see me through the changes.
Now I feel I’m in a much better place emotionally and can’t wait to see what happens next. These are some great tips and I’ll happily pass them along. 🙂
Thank you! You’re right–having a strong support system makes such a big difference. Good luck with your blog!!!
I absolutely love these tips! So helpful. I just went through a recent breakup and it was rough!! I don’t do well with change, but sometimes it’s healthy. Wish I read this sooner. <3 Really well written and super helpful. Thank You!
xx,
Sivan (www.TheOliveBrunette.com)
Thank you! I don’t think change is easy for any of us..we just have to work through it!!
Taking care of you is so important during a major change!
Agreed!!
Congratulations on graduating! I remember now that I saw the pic on Instagram. There is one life change coming up and that is a big move. Or at least, for me it’s big. It’s still in the Netherlands (so how far can it be, right), but it’s a couple of hours away from my family and I’ve never lived more than half an hour away. And next year we’ll probably move to Spain. An even bigger transition! I definitely have a tendency to bury my feelings. Most of the time my first instinct doesn’t make any sense and that makes me scared. A little while later when I’m actually able to talk and to think about it, I feel so much better!
Thank you! I think the decision to move farther away from family is one of the hardest decisions ever–we all want to follow our dreams and experience new adventures, but life is all about family–so of course, that’s a hard decision. It’s great that there are so many ways to stay in touch and be part of each other’s life even though the miles separate us. Good luck to you!!
I tend to procrastinate and bury my head in the sand when there’s something I need to do but don’t know how to go about it! Thanks for the advice!
You’re welcome…we’re all guilty of procrastinating at one time or another!
My big change is deciding to give up teaching after nearly 30 years! I have to face up and accept that I don’t really enjoy it anymore. Wish me luck.
Good Luck…Changing a career after 30 years is definitely a huge change!
wow congrats to both you and your daughter on graduating! What an exciting time of year 🙂
Thank you! It sure is!!
These are great tips for staying sane during a transition. Something that helps me is to remind myself that humans are very adaptable and I will get used to the change eventually. Like when you move to a new house and miss home… you can find comfort knowing that, just like your last place, your new house will start to feel like home in time. Same for more devastating changes… you never really “get over” the loss of a loved one, but you get used to not seeing them anymore. Change is inevitable but we’re resilient and can get through anything.